I want to start Age of Sigmar, we're in lockdown and I don't want to do a podcast. Guess it's time to blog then! Welcome to the first (only?) part of my journey starting a new army.

The first choice is something that sounds so nice and simple, it’s time to pick an army to collect.

For some people, that’s simple. If you typically like orcs, take a look at Destruction. Like the Undead? Check out the Death Grand Alliance. For me? Well, I'm more like this:

I find multiple armies and themes interesting, making this harder. I know already that there’s several options to explore and, since I last had a vague look over setting, there’s at least one new army to check out (looking at you, mino-bros).

Right then. Time to get some criteria down for what I am and am not seeking in an army.

Stompiness – I’ve been playing skirmish games and, where possible given the pandemic, Sisters of Battle in 40K since 9^th came out. One thing missing there is some monstrously stompy action.

Aesthetic appeal – This is purely subjective, but I want to make a project out of this and not blast through things. I have to like the look of the army so for that reason alone all of Nurgle is out. Just not for me.

Popularity – Do you hate mirror matches? I know I’m not a fan. Of course, if I go to events in the end, this will happen, but I can take a look at my local meta and see what’s popular, then avoid that. Doubly true for a few local gamers that I may end up in a Path to Glory with.

Low model count – I get bored painting endless rank and file models. Contrast is a friend here and got my Sisters painted, but I’m after a low model count army for this project.

Competence – The hipster in me wants to avoid the popular choices, but I don’t want to pick a terrible army and get smashed in every game. Something that aims for the middle tables, that’s the sweet spot for me. For this alone, Sylvaneth are out.

Rule of cool – I want to look at a completed list and think “Yeah, that'll look cool on the table”.

So where does this get me?

I know that the hipster in me always hates playing the popular choices, so I looked at my local meta and I was immediately able to strike off half of Chaos as well as Nighthaunt (shame), Idoneth Deepkin (but the warsharks?!) and Stormcast Eternals.

All told, that left me with fourteen armies left out of the twenty-four factions (oh, and I don’t want to play a Grand Alliance list either). Not a bad start.

Next step, aesthetics. This is a project I want to spend time over and I want to enjoy it, so if I don’t like the general looks of the force, they are off the list. This scrapped the rest of Chaos (except Skaven) and all of Destruction. If they are your thing, sweet, but none of the options left there were for me.

Okay, fine, squigs are and have always been cool. I’ll keep them on the table for now.

Next up, model count. Boring, but required. Skaven are gone, so too the squigs. I’m sorry, I love the balls of teeth and boings but there would be some many of them… bouncing over the enemy… fine. Back in they go.

Penultimately, mostly because I like the word and it doesn’t get used enough, stompiness. I want to look at my army and see models of different sizes, maybe with a centrepiece but that’s not required. What I don’t want is flying boats. Sorry, Kharadron Overlords. Your weird, steampunk vibe is cool and al but just not what I’m after right now.

So, ultimately where has this left me? What army will I be starting? Can I get a drumroll? On a written blog? No? Shocking.

The answer is I still don’t know. 

BUT! I have narrowed the armies down to six choices, two of which I’m pretty sure will drop off quickly. We have, in no particular order:

Dino-Bros! A monster heavy Seraphon list. Pros, tons of stomping. Cons, not a fan of Skinks or Saurus, so this may fail the competence measure.

Bikini-Elves! Specifically, a Snake heavy list. Pros, really, really cool aesthetics. Cons, not a lover of the near naked-female trope in fantasy (though the snakes suffer less). No idea how viable this is in game.

Bikini-Dwarfs! A Fyreslayer list with at least two Magmadroths. Pros, badass lava lizards and crazy dwarf back up. Cons, very little variety in units/painting. Naked dwarf after naked dwarf, this could haunt my dreams.

SQUIGS! I actually put them back in writing this blog post. Pros, Squigs are cool. Cons, even less variety than the Bikini-dwarfs and potentially just a meme list. This army I expect not to make it.

Mino-Bros! I had dismissed these due to their silly hats and that utterly stupid Teclis model, but their playstyle really appeals and I wonder if there’s an Eltharion/Minotaurman (nah, he’ll be Goatboy from here) list that might appeal. Pros, Eltharion. Seriously, that is maybe the best model I have ever seen. Cons, have you seen the price of these guys? I know this is not a cheap hobby but yeesh.

Tomb Kings, honest! The other army I expect to drop out fast. I kind of like the models, and loved Tomb Kings previously. Basically, I want to research them more before cutting them. Pros and cons to be found.

Next up, I’m going to research these six armies, write up a potential list that I would build towards and evaluate each. Hey, I guess that means I have six more blog posts coming.

Until then! 👋